I'm the mom

Let me start by saying that Curt is a fabulous father. Amazing. There are certain things that he just takes care of around this household - such as wiping the kids up after a meal and giving them baths. He does those things so often and naturally that I'm still pretty inept at them myself. He also got less slept during the newborn time than I did. He always (with the exception of a few few nights) got up with me at night while I nursed them. In fact, he got up first and came to bed after I did. Our routine went something like....(if I'm remembering right, parts of it don't make sense...)Curt would get up and get the crier and bring them to me in bed (or I would get up and go to my amazing lazyboy chair), I would nurse the one and then I would nudge Curt when I could tell we were almost done. He would get the second one up, change their diaper, and then we'd switch. He would burp the first while I fed the second, then change the first's diaper, and then lay down for a bit if there was time before it was time to burp the second. As soon as I was done feeding, I would go back to sleep while he burped :) I have an amazing husband.

Why the "amazing husband" lead in? Because of what happened a few weeks ago. See, he is such a good father that I found myself thinking that we were the same. That we played the same role in this family. This little bubble of mine was shattered two weeks ago when I went away for 2 and a half days to Orlando for a conference. First of all, before I left, I of course had to make sure that there was plenty of food for while I was gone (with lists of the options so that he would know what there was) and all the childcare scheduling was all lined up. Then, on the second morning I was gone, I got a text that Marcia, our loving Florida grandmother, was sick and couldn't cover the three time slots that she was going to cover in the next few days. I assumed that this would panic Curt (as it was his schedule that was going to be affected by it) and that he would start looking for replacement childcare. Nope. He had no clue what to do. No clue where to start or who to call. I ended up filling all three of the time slots via facebook shout outs and text messages while I was sitting in meetings at my conference before he even made his first attempt. I say that I filled three time slots...I actually filled four, because one fell through before it could actually happen. This replacement fill in that I found was for Curt during basketball practice. The plan was for him to drop the kids off at my friend's house and then go to practice. I then get a text message (which I'm totally dreading at this point)..."Do you have any idea where my keys are?" Oh my. He can't find his keys so he ends up canceling on my friend (actually he forgets to call and cancel and she has to call him) and just puts the kids in the stroller and walks to practice. Once at practice (25+ 5th through 8th grade boys), he puts the kids on a bleacher and gives them snacks and asks them to stay put. This, as you can guess, did not go so well. So he then makes a pen out of chairs and puts them in the middle of it. They go ballistic at this idea, so he gets in the pen with them and shouts out directions to his basketball players while holding two screaming children. Oh my Oh my.

He then walks the mile home (losing Micah's sippy cup along the way) and feeds the kids before the next babysitter shows up. This was the interesting one. She was a stranger. I had to rely on a friend for a recommendation of a girl she uses and I only got to talk to her on the phone that afternoon. I still have absolutely no idea what she looks like :) Curt gave her some instructions and got a ride to his elders' meeting at church. He left the meeting at 10 PM to come home and relieve the babysitter (since random strangers cost much more than loving Florida-grandmothers). When I talked to him at 11:15 that night, I immediately asked him how it went. He responded, "Oh the meeting went..." No No, that was not what I was asking. How did the stranger do with our children (or rather, how did our children do with the stranger). "Oh, she said it went great. They shared well. Went to bed fine." Sheww. We went on with our conversation until I realized that he hadn't actually said that the kids were currently fine. So I paused and asked him if he had checked on the kids since he had been home. Nope. He had been home for an hour and fifteen minutes and hadn't checked on the kids yet!!! Totally cracked me up. A stranger had been in our home and he just took her word that they were sleeping peacefully in their beds. I'm an obsessive checker on them even when we've been home the whole time. Let alone when someone could have sold our kids while we were gone :) Of course, the kids were fine and sleeping peacefully in their beds just like he had assumed (until he checked on them and she woke up screaming to be held!).

What did I learn from this? Well - Curt is an excellent father, but he is not a mother. I'm a necessary part of this family. Case in point - Curt is now in the middle of a five day "gone" stretch. Did he line up childcare for the kids before he left? Did he do the laundry before he left? He left and it was me who took both kids to the grocery store to get us food to eat. Marcia happens to be sick again, and he didn't pull any shananigans to arrange any babysitters to cover her "shifts." He simply packed his suitcase and left. And while he is gone - he will actually be gone. Life will go on here at home without frantic text messages asking where the sippy cups are. Now if toilets get clogged or trash needs to be taken out - that is a different story - but the mom stuff, I've got that handled, even though it is harder when I'm alone. It was a funny experience, and in some ways an encouraging one. It is good to feel needed. And loved - I think.