This was a blessing on so many levels. For one, I had been saying to many of my friends during the weeks leading up to birth that it really didn’t matter to me how she entered the world. I was prepared for a c-section, and I had come to terms with that. However, nursing was one of those things that I wasn’t as nonchalant about. I did (and still do) care how she gets her food. I had been praying that nursing would come naturally for us, and it really got a great start. Also, there had been some concern that morning about whether or not I would get to nurse her shortly after birth. Earlier, a nurse had walked into the room and had bluntly announced, “now, you know that since you refused HIV testing, I will have to take your baby from you right after birth and give her a bath.” I was a little caught off guard by this, and I asked her what she meant by “taking my baby right after birth.” She said that it was a new hospital policy (wasn’t in place when I declined the testing), and I would have a little time with her, but then she would need her bath. She wasn’t overly kind about this, and I commented about this to Curt after she left the room. He mentioned that her job all day is to tell moms that she has to take their baby away from them; she obviously had adopted a “pull the bandaid off quickly” kind of method of dealing with this. I figured there was nothing I could do about the situation at this point, and we moved on. It turns out that when it was time for Jocelyn to arrive in the world, there were a few other babies being born as well. The first nurse, the really blunt one, was with one of those other babies. The baby nurse that took care of Jocelyn was much more tender and warm. She also clearly thought the new policy was stupid. So combine that with the fact that Jocelyn entered the world fully alert and ready to eat, rooting constantly, and the policy was slightly “bent” a bit in this situation. After she was weighed and everyone was commenting on how much she wanted to eat, I asked if I could nurse her before her bath, expecting maybe only a few minutes to try this. The nurse hesitated a bit, and then said sure, that she would leave for about 30 minutes and then come back for the bath. Everyone else stepped out then too. I was able to just hold and nurse and cuddle my baby, with only Curt in the room also, for those thirty minutes. It was really great. She ate from the right, then the left, then Curt held her for the first time, and then she ate from the right again. So thankful.
To make the situation even better, when it was time for her bath, it was also lunchtime for me. My food arrived, and I was able to eat and make a few phone calls while Jocelyn got her bath right there in the room with me. It really worked out perfectly. When the time did come for us to move to our 2nd room, Jocelyn was able to stay in with us the whole time - she didn’t have to leave for any kind of bath, and I still got my initial skin to skin nursing time that I had hoped for. (When the twins were born, they didn’t get their bath until we were over in our 2nd room, sometime after midnight. I had been prepared for there not being a nursery at the hospital and for the babies to room in with me the whole time. It had been a long day, and my emotions were crazy by this point. The babies were taken away to get their bath, and it seemed like they had been gone a really long time and they weren’t coming back. I had Curt go look for them. He came back and told me that the nursery - which I didn’t think they had - was going to keep the twins and let me get a little sleep. I didn’t deal with this well. I was panicked they wouldn’t bring them back as soon as I wanted them. That I wouldn’t get to nurse them. Etc. So I laid in bed for awhile and didn’t really get the sleep that my nurse had wanted me to get. I’m not sure how they ended up back in our room - if Curt had to go hunt them down again or if they really did get delivered to me in time to feed, but it wasn’t my fondest memory from that night. One that I'm thankful I didn't have to repeat.)
Another one of my least favorite memories from the first time around, and an item I had been praying about, was going to the bathroom. With the twins, the whole day was great - labor, birth, nursing - until it was time to get out of bed. Things went downhill from there. I lost blood, got dizzy, and couldn’t go to the bathroom. Not a winning experience, and the main mental deterrent from me getting an epidural this time. However, on this trip to the bathroom, my spirits were high (thanks in part to my really fun, great nurse - have I mentioned her yet - wink wink). I was joking as we walked to the bathroom that surely if I could pee the night before when I didn’t intend to, I could do it now when I did want to. And, thankfully, I did. Hallelujiah for not having to be hooked to awkward tubes for the next 12-24 hours.
As I was being wheeled to my new room, I was overwhelmed by the blessings. I was holding a beautiful (clean) baby girl, I was unhooked from all IVs, and was not getting ready to be rehooked up to any other tubes. I felt good enough to ask the twins to come visit, and I was thinking about what clothes I wanted to change into. (I had expected the induction to take longer, more like the twins, and I was not planning on seeing Micah or Mackenna until the next day.) Really, in so many ways, I had all the positives of “not getting an epidural,” but still got to have the pain relief of the epidural.
Speaking of the epidural, I had a nice conversation with Nancy about epidurals. I had been somewhat curious as to how this induction would go with a midwife instead of a doctor. I wasn’t sure what her opinion would be if and when I asked for pain relief. The leg pain definitely clinched the deal on an epidural for me. Once the excruciating leg pain had subsided and I was able to talk again, I asked her about her experiences with epidurals vs. natural child birth, even water births. She was positive about all the options, not at all condescending of choosing to get an epidural. I was feeling a little bit like I shouldn’t have gotten one - I really only had one for two hours. I was thinking that surely I could have dealt with the pain if it was only going to last for two hours. Nancy pointed out that sometimes the epidural relaxes you to the point that your body can progress through the end of labor, instead of forcing you to tighten up and slow down the process. She seemed to think it was a fine/good decision for me to make. And, in my own consideration, I don’t regret it at all. Yes, maybe it only would have been two hours of leg pain, but maybe it would have been far more. She was sunny side up, and I successfully pushed her out in less than 30 minutes. She nursed well from the beginning. I was able to pee. I got the feeling back in my legs quickly. No real negatives in my book - aside from the bruise on my back from the multiple needle sticks. I guess I can deal with that.
Still a few more mama ramblings to share in a future post...
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