Four Month Old Jocelyn

Dearest Jocelyn,

Well, you are another month older! Time keeps going on, and we keep falling more in love with you...our little "Jocie-bit" or "Sweet girl." You really are super sweet. You have been really really laid back this month. You aren't super talkative or vocal, but there are usually a few times in the day where you will babble back and forth with me or dad - usually dad. You two seem to have a special relationship; he is the number one person to make you laugh. Your laughter is an awesome sound.  You seem to be a pretty discerning laugher; not everything will merit a good belly laugh from you! Sometimes I can get one by making a "squeezing air out of my cheeks noise" or by coughing (I coughed so much in these last two months that I'm pretty sure you can identify your mommy by my cough). Daddy makes this crazy "buh-buh-du-du-doo-doo" noise in a high-pitched voice - and if anything will make you laugh, this will.



Your brother and sister each had a "thing" that everyone always said about them - for Micah it was commenting on his long eyelashes. For Mackenna it was talking about her curl on her forehead or talking about how she just looked like a girl. For you, everyone, and I mean everyone, comments on how you are a "doll." Grandpa Sharbaugh kept saying it at Christmas and even the random lady at Ikea told us that you just look like a perfect little baby doll. We agree.



You are getting bigger. You officially wear size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. You are right below the 50th percentile for weight (right where you have been since birth) - 13 pounds 7 ounces - and almost at the 90th percentile for height - 25.25 inches. Your head size is closer to the 25th percentile. This confirms what I think about who you look like. We always say that you are the girl version of your brother, and I do think that you look mostly like Micah. However, I think your head is shaped more like your sister's, and that is one of the things that gives you a different look from Micah.

You are enjoying tummy time a little bit more, and holding your head up better and better while you are on your stomach. You don't push yourself up with your hands yet while you are on your belly, and you don't roll over. The doctor said we should just keep giving you more opportunities - goody. You have sat in the bumbo seat some and also your exersaucer. You still prefer to lie on your back and look at your "hello baby mirror" or play with the green caterpillar rattle toy or bat at the same toy bar that Mackenna loved. You will grab for toys and sometimes bring them to your mouth. You are pretty good at holding your head up when you are sitting on our laps, although you look down more than you look up. You love facing out while we are holding you, and you will likely be soaking the arm that is holding you with lots and lots of drool. We are waiting for some teeth around here. They don't seem to be bothering you much yet, so I'm quite content for them to stay in your gums for awhile longer. I don't put drool bibs on you, but maybe I should!










Like I just said, you love facing out and being held. The other day, you went to the grocery store with just Dad and I for a major shopping trip. You were content and calm the entire time because one of us was holding you in this desired position. Same thing when we went to visit preschools. Your easy going self is at its finest when you are held like this.

You are officially NOT a snuggler. If I try to put you up against my body on my shoulder, you totally freak out. If I try to cradle you in my arms, you freak out even more. Sometimes I can rock you if I sit you up in my lap and face you out, but not often, and you will rarely fall asleep like this. You like your bed, you like to be swaddled and lie on your back, you like your sound machine, and you are starting to like your pink bunny. You do NOT need mama in order to fall asleep, that is for sure, and that is okay...I guess. I'm here if you change your mind.






You are getting a little more hair, but still not a lot. You are definitely a blondie so far. You have a pretty rocking bald spot on the back of your sweet little head. I still love to kiss the top of your head; you are so soft and fuzzy right now.

As far as your routine, it was about the same as last month until Friday the 13th. You totally changed things up on that day, and I was thinking it was a fluke, until you did it for four days straight. You have had a few days since then where you haven't done it, but for the most part, this is the schedule that YOU put YOURSELF on:
8 AM: Wake, Eat, Zantac, Play
9:30: Sleep
Noon: Wake, Eat, Play
2:00: Eat, Zantac, Sleep
5:00: Wake, Eat, Play
Sometime between 7 and 8: Zantac, Bath, Eat, Bed (We are still figuring you out at nighttime. Not sure what your ideal bedtime is. However, I do know that if I miss your magic bedtime window, you get really really mad. So mad that you won't eat and just choose to go to bed hungry out of spite. It works okay; I will usually just wake you up then before I go to bed and feed you. Silly girl. Oh, and, yes, you usually sleep through the night. You have pretty much dropped that early morning feeding all together.)



Oh...and I almost forgot...you are officially a two-finger-sucker now. You do it all the time, and you seem to really like it.



So I guess that about sums up "you at four months." We really like you. We have spent a lot of this month at home (you finally were in your own home on the 21st of a month), and you have been super calm at just chilling and going with the flow. I love hearing you talk, but it is okay that you don't talk too much at this point. You seem to be happy and that makes me pretty happy too.

Love you,
Your Mama

Things you learn when you and your daughter are both nursing your babies

1.) Mackenna is quite a conscientious mother. The other day, baby Raelyn did everything that Jocelyn did. Eat. Burp. Get medicine. Have tummy time. Swing. Nap. Get Swaddled. Get changed. Everything.

2.) Watching Mackenna watch me as I was nursing Jocelyn, looking for what she was supposed to do next with Raelyn was absolutely adorable. I could tell at one point that she was bored and ready for Raelyn to be done eating. I told her she could go play. She refused until Jocelyn was finished eating as well. She then dutifully switched sides and gave Raelyn some more to eat. Sweetness.

3.) I asked Mackenna how many babies she wanted to have some day. At first she counted on her fingers and said 5. Then she switched to the other hand and counted 6 fingers and changed her answer. Then she counted both hands together and came up with 21 fingers. That is how many kids she wants. (Don't worry, she only really has 10 fingers.)

4.) Mackenna understands that I am her baby's grandma and daddy is her baby's grandpa. She also is quite certain that Micah is her baby's dad.

5.) Micah is quite insistent that Mackenna can't actually feed her baby "that way." This is because Mackenna doesn't have the "ovals" that are necessary to feed a baby.

6.) I really hope this is as close as I get to actually nursing a baby while my eldest daughter is also nursing her baby.

(This is actually baby Kathryn. Not Raelyn. And, as you can see by the long hair, this was a picture from earlier this month. Aren't the matching dresses adorable!!)

M&Misms

About some yogurt that I tried to mix half vanilla and half plain to cut the sugar:
Micah: "I don't like vanilla."
Me: "Yes you do."
Micah: "But it's different....and I don't really like different."

----
During a disagreement about seats at lunch, about who would get to sit in the seat that more faced the window:
Mackenna: "But I want to see the beautiful world."

----
Micah, to Mackenna: "That's it, you're off my list."




(P.S. Not sure what else to say about this, but Mackenna has taken to saying "yeah" with this attitude/hick voice that causes it to sound like "yaa-uh." It is really funny and catches me off guard all the time.)

Little Bit has turned me into a Home Girl

We went to the park today. This didn't used to be a note worthy event. I was always a go go go mom. The term "stay at home" mom should have been changed to "get out of the home with the kids mom" when it was applied to me. However, things have changed. I can count on one hand the number of times I have taken the kids anywhere this month. And it doesn't bother me one bit. I am liking staying home. Partly because it is all I have the energy for, but also because it is a nice place to be, with nice people filling it. Little Bit has been taking really killer naps, which also leads to us staying home more so that she can take these amazing, only used to read about in books, kinds of naps. Also, I've been sick for two months; so there's that. The older two are a little restless, but the questions of, "are we going somewhere today" are taming down a bit. We are all getting settled into a January routine of being home. It is kind of nice.

Top Quotes from my week - from all three of my babies

We'll go from oldest to youngest:

Micah:
He had woken up from a deep sleep sometime before midnight on Monday night. He came out into the living room in a sweaty panic. He was crying and asking for a drink....repeatedly and very "passionately." We tried to calm him down, and Curt went to get him a drink. I asked him to come sit next to me on the couch. I ran my fingers through his hair and let him calm down a bit. I asked him if he had a bad dream. He quickly said yes. I was pleased to hear some reason for his panic. I asked him what the dream was about. He responded (in his after sobbing, broken voice), "I dreamed that I couldn't have a drink."



Mackenna:
I was feeding Jocelyn yesterday and it wasn't going very well. She was distracted and a little angry. Mackenna was right in her face and kind of making at least one of us claustrophobic. I told Mackenna I was going to go feed Jocelyn in my room. She wanted to come with us, and I told her no, that I needed to go to a quiet place. A little while later, when I was done, I called for Mackenna to come do something for me. She said she couldn't because she was feeding her baby. Still in the other room, I asked if I could come see. Without missing a beat, she said, "No, this is my quiet place." I did make it out to the living room not only to see her nursing her baby but also to see her holding her shirt up and out of the way with her mouth, the exact way I frequently do it during nursings. I was in awe of what she had absorbed.



Jocelyn:
Prerequisites to understanding this encounter: 1.) We visited potential preschools for M&M today 2.) While I was feeding Jocelyn, I was watching the DVR'ed Parenthood episode about Haddie going off to college.
Jocie was sitting on my lap smiling up at me after eating. This inspired me to have a little chat with her. I told her that she was my precious, beautiful little baby. I commented that she would not always be little. One day she would be big and go to preschool and even go off to college some day. I asked her if she would remember her mama and all the great care I provided her in these days. She responded by filling her pants. I took that as a yes.



(About the pictures: My elder two lovelies happily chose to lay side by side, sharing a blanket and pillow, while they watched some Sesame Street. Be still my heart. My youngest little lovebit has become a two finger sucker and that last photo shows her showing off her new obsession and clinging onto my old obsession - the pink blankie that I passed on to Mackenna who somewhat rejected it and passed it on to Jocelyn. I have two daughters. How did this happen?!)

Is this the little girl I carried?

I left the house today with a "long hair Rapunzel"



And I came home with a beautiful "short hair Rapunzel."



I love them both.

Mom Thoughts - Disjointed Style

Yesterday a friend shared this post on facebook, about "not seizing the day with our kids." I really appreciated what she had to say. I think she is right on about it not being possible or even important to love and adore every minute we have with our children. Some moments, like cleaning puddles of pee off the floor, are just not lovable. I do think it is very important that we still love our kids in those moments, that we are still grateful for them, that we wouldn't trade our children away for one second of not having to go through those moments, but we don't have to have a fake appreciation for those actual moments. I agree with her, I am very thankful that I am a mom and I know that later I will be thankful and sentimental about the fact that I was able to mother, but it doesn't mean that I will have loved every moment of the mothering. Trying to make myself feel that way every second of the day just loads me with unnecessary guilt. Not a great situation.

A similar situation I am deals with how I am dealing with my sweet little bundle of J becoming a sweet bigger bundle of J. I very much want to "rock my baby because babies don't keep." However, my sweet baby does not want to be rocked. When she has had it, she wants to be swaddled and laid in her bed. Am I bad mother or am I not savoring these moments if I go ahead and do what she wants and what is best for her and just lay her in bed? I have to believe that I am not. However, it is easy to beat myself up for not cuddling her more or rocking her more, with the well meaning sayings of many older ladies running through my head. "Mom Guilt" - yuck. The truth is that I can't slow down time and I can't make her want something she doesn't want. I know she will cuddle with me again one day. Until then, I will keep loving her and taking care of her and meeting her needs when she expresses them (as soon as she does, if possible). I will tell her early and often how much she means to me. I will sing to her and pray for her. I will photograph her and journal about her. But I won't rock her - its not what she needs right now.



A p.s. about the article I linked to at the top. I did read the "about me" section of the mom's blog. We are not coming from the same perspective when it comes to God and what it means to live for him and glorify him. This has also caused me to think a lot. Not sure what else to say about that right now.

Quarter of a Year

(Started on December 22nd...Finished on January 4th. That's what traveling over the holidays does to me.)


Dear Sweet Jocelyn,

For some reason, three months has always felt like a big deal to me. You are three months old. It sounds like an eternity. You are now a "big baby girl." I really am starting to know you more now. You don't feel like a stranger to me anymore. I am starting to figure you out. I am starting to know how you like to be held, what you like to do, what will make you happy, what routine works best for you.

You have gotten really smiley. You smile most when someone is looking directly at you, making eye contact and talking to you. You will give your gazing onlookers a big smile as a reward for their time. I think all your grandparents and two of your great grandparents were given the Jocelyn smile treatment during our time in Indiana. Your smile really melts my heart (especially when you give me a great big one when I come into your "room" to get you up from a nap or nighttime).  When you smile, your eyes kind of get all squinty and change in shape. It is a cute little thing that makes you you.

You have been napping really well, especially if you are in your bed (still your pack n play bassinet in your bedroom/bathroom). The sound machine is like a magic drug for you...there are times I feel like it puts you instantly to sleep. You have definitely transitioned from being rocked to sleep to being completely self soothing. When I try to rock you to sleep, it just doesn't work. I will give in and lay you down, swaddling you in Aunt Marcia's blanket, turn on your sound machine, and you usually go from screaming to sleeping within two minutes. I am happy that you do this, but I do miss the snuggles and the rocking. I'm not sure how this transition happened. I never really let you "cry it out" (at least not for more than five minutes or so), but you just kind of did this.

You usually get up for the day between 8 and 9. You are really really content and happy during these morning hours. You get a dose of Zantac (.8 mL) after your first nursing (This combined with my mostly dairy free diet really does seem to help you). Then you will usually lay on the floor looking at your toy gym or watch your mobile. Between an hour and half and two hours later, you'll go back down for your first nap. Then you'll wake up, nurse, and repeat the cycle. You are eating about every 3 to 3.5 hours. After your second nap, you'll get another dose of Zantac. You will usually doze sometime again in the evening, sometimes in your bed, swing, or carseat. You are less happy in the evening, especially if you aren't getting your way. You are getting less easy to take places like restaurants. Between 8 and 9, you get another dose of medicine, daddy gives you a bath, you get oiled up, nursed, and put to bed. You usually only wake up once to eat - sometime between 3 and 6 am. You are doing great with this routine. All that may change soon is giving up the evening nap and just moving bedtime back. I'm not sure what would be best for you...maybe I'll have it figured out by next month.

You are nursing really well. Most feedings you will now take both sides. I do think you are somewhat of a snacker. You will quit actively nursing when the easy milk is all gone. Giving you the other side will cause the same result. You seem to still be gaining weight, so I'm not too worried, but you could probably put forth a little more effort in this area :)  You do not like a bottle. You refused one in Indiana when mommy didn't get home from the farm in time to feed you. We'll keep working on this (halfheartedly). This is not a huge problem in my opinion; I would far rather have this situation than the opposite.

You have done some cooing and almost laughing - especially with your daddy at bathtime. You seem to love the bath and get really excited when you know it is coming. Cooing and gurgling back and forth at you is something your dad and I really really enjoy. We can't wait to hear more from you. And, based on your voice so far, we have a feeling we'll be hearing a lot from you.

When it comes to being held, you definitely prefer facing out. Not sure if this is because it makes your belly feel better or if you just really like to see what is going on. And sometimes you just prefer to not be held at all. I try to not take this personally. There are times when you are fussy and squirmy in our arms and laying you on the floor and talking to you or giving you a mirror to look at (you really like to stare at yourself) is what seems to calm you down. You like laying down and looking at toys so much that we kind of forgot about tummy time. We are working on fixing that now.

As I already mentioned, you do seem to be a people person. You also seem to have a pretty strong opinion - you have a pretty loud and strong anger streak sometimes. You also didn't seem to go with the flow in the womb. And you are turning into a talker. These are your dad and I's predictions about your future personality. We are excited to see what happens, however these early characteristics show in your life.

As always and for always, we love you. I loved having a baby during this Christmas season. We were busy and it was a whirlwind, but you were such a champ and I still tried to soak in as much of you as I could. Thank you for being my baby. I can't wait to see what is ahead - I'll stop trying to slow down time too much.

Love,
Mama







P.S. Your one month birthday was spent in Indiana, your two month birthday in Orlando, and your three month back in Indiana. This has kind of put a damper on taking a traditional month photo of you. I have lots of pictures of you that I love, that show your personality, but not so many that show how much you are just growing and growing. Maybe we'll start now...but I won't make any promises. I love you, and I hate that you are growing so fast (size 2 diapers and clearly in 3-6 month clothes). Maybe that is why I'm not taking "growing up" kinds of pictures :)