Mom Thoughts - Disjointed Style

Yesterday a friend shared this post on facebook, about "not seizing the day with our kids." I really appreciated what she had to say. I think she is right on about it not being possible or even important to love and adore every minute we have with our children. Some moments, like cleaning puddles of pee off the floor, are just not lovable. I do think it is very important that we still love our kids in those moments, that we are still grateful for them, that we wouldn't trade our children away for one second of not having to go through those moments, but we don't have to have a fake appreciation for those actual moments. I agree with her, I am very thankful that I am a mom and I know that later I will be thankful and sentimental about the fact that I was able to mother, but it doesn't mean that I will have loved every moment of the mothering. Trying to make myself feel that way every second of the day just loads me with unnecessary guilt. Not a great situation.

A similar situation I am deals with how I am dealing with my sweet little bundle of J becoming a sweet bigger bundle of J. I very much want to "rock my baby because babies don't keep." However, my sweet baby does not want to be rocked. When she has had it, she wants to be swaddled and laid in her bed. Am I bad mother or am I not savoring these moments if I go ahead and do what she wants and what is best for her and just lay her in bed? I have to believe that I am not. However, it is easy to beat myself up for not cuddling her more or rocking her more, with the well meaning sayings of many older ladies running through my head. "Mom Guilt" - yuck. The truth is that I can't slow down time and I can't make her want something she doesn't want. I know she will cuddle with me again one day. Until then, I will keep loving her and taking care of her and meeting her needs when she expresses them (as soon as she does, if possible). I will tell her early and often how much she means to me. I will sing to her and pray for her. I will photograph her and journal about her. But I won't rock her - its not what she needs right now.



A p.s. about the article I linked to at the top. I did read the "about me" section of the mom's blog. We are not coming from the same perspective when it comes to God and what it means to live for him and glorify him. This has also caused me to think a lot. Not sure what else to say about that right now.