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Our overall hospital stay was just wonderful. Thursday was a nice, calm day. I showered. We had another great nurse - a young one - Kayla. It came up that she had just gone through a miscarriage. In my conversation with her, she mentioned again that not all new moms that the hospital encounters are as suited to motherhood as I might be. She mentioned how hard it is to be struggling with conceiving and to be surrounded by new moms who are addicts or don’t really seem to want their babies. This was the same sentiment that a nurse expressed with the twins when I said something about, “are you sure you are really going to let us take them home?” and she responded with “are you kidding? you are the ones that we actually want to send home with babies. That isn’t how every story goes.” A sobering reminder.
Celeste and Angie visited for awhile; always good to talk to friends, especially when we don’t have our older kids with us. I was able to take a nap during “family nap time” in the afternoon. Jocelyn stayed up and then dozed with Curt, since he was rested from his morning champion nap. I had a few of the amazing hospital chocolate chip cookies; I might have to make a return trip to the hospital just to have one again. The twins came again after naptime. They were definitely wired, and Curt and I each took turns walking Micah up and down the hallway. I also ventured out of my room multiple times to get juice or ice, a big change from the twins where I didn’t leave my hospital room until it was time to go home. I felt good, and very thankful. I did forget to stay on top of my pain medicine during the day on Thursday, and this caught up with me on Thursday night. I was faint, nauseous, and in a lot of pain. Oops. A little extra pain meds, and I was able to rebound.
My night nurse was fine - Lidia. She was a savior at about 2 am when Jocelyn just wasn’t sleeping. She had wanted nothing to do with her bassinet. She would really only sleep skin to skin on my chest. So that is what we were doing. I had unlatched her after nursing, and just situated her a little a higher on my chest. I had the bed propped up, and we were both snoozing. The nurse came in and assumed that we had just finished nursing. She took her from me, got her redressed, and swaddled her, placing her in her bassinet where she happily slept until 4 am. She woke then and nursed, and I was able to lay her back down in her bed until morning. Good for the nurse; sure hadn’t worked when Curt or I had tried it. I’m pretty sure that my milk came in sometime during the night on Thursday night, and this could also have been part of the change in disposition. Jocelyn did lose some weight by the time she was weighed next - 6 lbs 12 oz - well within the 10% range that they are allowed to lose.
Friday morning brought an amped up Curt, ready to go home. He seriously made me laugh as he was a man on a mission, continually asking what was next as we inched closer to discharge. He was really ready to get home to his older two munchkins, pick up my mom from my airport, and start real life, I guess. We packed up, passed a hearing screen, took some pictures, visited with the head lactation consultant/my friend Lucille, and went home. All feeling so strange, but so normal, all at the same time. As Curt and I drove through the Chick-fil-A drive thru with our little bundle in her car seat, I couldn’t help but think how weird it was to be in our van with just the three of us. I’m used to the four of us, but somehow everything had changed. It was also weird to feel like everything had changed, but yet to have no one notice :) It was just a normal day in Chick-fil-A land. It wasn’t like we had a giant sign on us that said “BRAND new baby on board” or “just left the hospital;” I just felt like everyone should know somehow. It was one of those surreal moments; didn't really seem like my life.
It is safe to say that Jocelyn was definitely a hit at the hospital. People who saw her commented on her little nose, tiny mouth, and her good color. Many were shocked by how alert she was. “Pretty” was a common word used to talk about our little girl. I was pretty obsessed with her soft, soft skin. Rubbing my cheek against hers was, and will always remain, one of my favorite feelings in the whole world.
If she was a hit at the hospital, she has been a rock star here at home, at least in Mackenna’s mind. Now if we could just figure out what “gentle” and “not the head” really mean. Micah gets a really proud grin whenever he looks at his baby sister, even if it isn’t as often as he looks at Lightning McQueen or Mader. He does comment that she is "so little" and "beautiful," often spontaneously saying that he loves his baby sister. Mackenna’s prayers have shifted to “Thank you that mama HAS a baby” and she definitely emphasizes the change in tense. Life is good - a little full of milk and temper tantrums and potty accidents (from all three) - but life is good, and I am blessed.
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