What we are doing about Mackenna

After writing this post that definitely seemed to imply that I have "had it up to here" with my older daughter, I thought I should explain a little bit more. Things aren't going extremely smoothly in the Mackenna department, and I am reminded that massive change and being a little sinner isn't really a great combination. I obviously still love her more than life, and I would take a hundred more of her and a zillion more bad days with her if that is what God gives us, but we are trying to come out of this phase alive - all of us.

Since I do believe this phase is passing, and I tend to be forgetful, I thought it might be a good idea to write down some of the things we are doing to deal with our manic, emotional, confused, angry, wonderful, dear, sweet little girl.

Trying to snuggle with her more - when possible - this is obviously not all the time
Disciplining calmly and consistently
Saying yes when we can, no when we must
Answering her "are you happy" or "are you mad" questions with reaffirmations of our love for her and our unlove for her actions
Focusing on her behavior - telling her she has made a wrong choice, wrong response, wrong action, wrong words, wrong volume, etc. - not telling her to "fix her attitude"
Reminding her that disobedience has consequences, that consequences hurt, and that God has given us, her parents, the responsibility of showing her this
Praising her correct actions (not attitudes) when she does them
Asking for her to help with things (like folding clothes)
Reading to her while I nurse
Telling her to go potty more often - not waiting for her to fail, causing frustration on everyone's part
Telling her when it is a good time to hold Jocelyn. Encouraging her to take advantage of these times, not just the times that she wants to
Evaluating my offers to her before I make them (Considering how it may end up - will this end well? Although, many times her emotional responses are far too unpredictable. Who would have thought that opening the mail would lead to ruin.)
Telling her I love her and giving her as many hugs as possible - can never go wrong with this one, right?

And something that I should be doing more of about this situation....praying. You can pray with me.

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A few reminders that she isn't "all bad"

Mack (to me): I love you daddy
Me: Aww, that is nice, we should tell him
Mack: Yes, I want to tell him that. I like him. He is beautiful and nice. He is a good daddy.

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Me: Did you have a good nap
Mack: Yes, it was great. I liked it. I told Micah I loved him during nap.
Me: That is nice. It is good to love Micah.
Mack: Yes, he is the only boy I love.
Me: What about daddy?
Mack: Hahaha
Daddy: (Making sad face) you don't love me?
Mack: No, I can only love Micah. That is the only boy I can love.
Daddy: Well, that isn't bad, I guess. I don't want you growing up and getting married.
Mack: (Changing her tune) No, I like boys. Boys are nice.

I guess we'll keep her